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Days 8-13- Just fucking deal with it


I haven’t had a chance to blog for the last few days, so I’ve decided to summarize my last 5 days: (I will start fresh daily tomorrow- just fucking deal with it) here it goes:

WEEK 2, Day 8- Yoga X- How many downward dogs does it take to skinny up one ass? Apparently a lot, Fuck this position and my hubby tellin me I’m doing it wrong, it’s gonna take a few more weeks to get my butt to the aproximate height required for this move, do not fucking JUDGE me (frankly he should be happy he gets to see me in this pose at all!)

Day 9-  Legs and Back, Ab Ripper X- Fucking hard
Day 10– Kenpo X- I was fucking tired
Day 11– Rest or X Stretch- I fucking rocked this day!

WEEK 3:

Day 12- Core Synergistics- I can’t  explain to you enough how much Superman Banana makes me less Superhuman- I know I’m Thunderwoman, but I can garauntee that I have NOT gotten this move down. Infact I look like a fucking idiot who can barely lift her arms let alone her feet off the ground. Hopefully my powers will kick in soon, or I’m afraid I may be stripped of my Thunderwoman status. And yes I wore my cape while performing this move. (I’d much rather be straddling a banana than acting like one)

Day 13 – Cardio X- I drank a lot of water and peed for most of the day after this exercise, this is week 3 so I have to be honest, I got through this routine better than the last two weeks, and am proud that my heart is getting stronger, even though it is surrounded by years of aging cardio fat gelled from Corn dogs, Chilli burgers and curly fries.  Rock on, BRING IT!

(And yes I ate broccoli with my dinner last night and farted like a fucking truck driver.)

I'd rather ride a banana like this guy, then fucking do Tony's version. Way more fun.

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About Thunder Woman

I'm a Thirty something chick who has thunderthighs. I like chocolate. I like fried shit. I hate exercise. But it's time I take control and make it happen. Maybe I just like the feeling of a strong man's hand on my butt during yoga, or maybe I hate not being able to sit in a fucking airline chair. Or maybe it's time i put my kid's needs before my own, and live long so one day his wife will have someone to torture her. It don't matter the reasons. I just need to get fit. For me. For my kid. For that fucking pair of spandex biking shorts that stare at me from the bottom of my underwear drawer. They belonged to some skinny girl I once knew. That fucking skinny ass bitch is back. She's back with a vengeance.

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