RSS Feed

Day 14 – I am becoming more flexible!


Today was Yoga day, I think I am becoming more flexible because you know that part where you squat and have to balance your entire body on your arms? Well this time I didn’t fall on my head- CAUSE I DIDN”T FUCKING TRY  IT. That’s right I skipped it, and I’m totally okay with partial failure, so what, I can’t twist  my body like a fucking pretzel and stand on my hands like an acrobat.  I’m okay with that!

But Downward dog is getting easier, and I enjoyed feeling my abs burn like a fucking razor inside my lower area during the pilates gone Yoga x wild.

The truth is I am hoping by next week I can just get through 75 minutes without any intterruptions like my kid’s half eaten doughnut that stared at me as I planned its execution.

This is what I'm buying for myself as soon as I lose all my weight.

I did not eat the doughnut! I stayed in that fucking prayer twist position and concentrated on my skinny ass. Yes I may have fallen on my face last week Tony Horton, but this chick is so on her game this week.

Week 3 is almost over, I am stoked!

Days 8-13- Just fucking deal with it


I haven’t had a chance to blog for the last few days, so I’ve decided to summarize my last 5 days: (I will start fresh daily tomorrow- just fucking deal with it) here it goes:

WEEK 2, Day 8- Yoga X- How many downward dogs does it take to skinny up one ass? Apparently a lot, Fuck this position and my hubby tellin me I’m doing it wrong, it’s gonna take a few more weeks to get my butt to the aproximate height required for this move, do not fucking JUDGE me (frankly he should be happy he gets to see me in this pose at all!)

Day 9-  Legs and Back, Ab Ripper X- Fucking hard
Day 10– Kenpo X- I was fucking tired
Day 11– Rest or X Stretch- I fucking rocked this day!

WEEK 3:

Day 12- Core Synergistics- I can’t  explain to you enough how much Superman Banana makes me less Superhuman- I know I’m Thunderwoman, but I can garauntee that I have NOT gotten this move down. Infact I look like a fucking idiot who can barely lift her arms let alone her feet off the ground. Hopefully my powers will kick in soon, or I’m afraid I may be stripped of my Thunderwoman status. And yes I wore my cape while performing this move. (I’d much rather be straddling a banana than acting like one)

Day 13 – Cardio X- I drank a lot of water and peed for most of the day after this exercise, this is week 3 so I have to be honest, I got through this routine better than the last two weeks, and am proud that my heart is getting stronger, even though it is surrounded by years of aging cardio fat gelled from Corn dogs, Chilli burgers and curly fries.  Rock on, BRING IT!

(And yes I ate broccoli with my dinner last night and farted like a fucking truck driver.)

I'd rather ride a banana like this guy, then fucking do Tony's version. Way more fun.

i’ve gained weight


FUCK ME- 6 days of working out= me more hungry- WTF? I wish I could tell y’all that I’ve actually lost weight, but frankly I think I’ve redistributed it. So for this week- I plan on stepping things up a notch and drinking more water, I also plan on eating more broccoli, just a little worried about the farting. Watch out world.

I’ve gained weight


FUCK ME- this week was 6 days straight, with no interruptions of working out= me more hungry- WTF? I wish I could tell y’all that I’ve actually lost weight, but frankly I think I’ve redistributed it. So for this week- I plan on stepping things up a notch and drinking more water, I also plan on eating more broccoli, just a little worried about the farting. Watch out world.

Broccoli


brocoli

Poor Broccoli, it always gets a bad rap. I need to make nice to it this week. Farting and all.

Confessions


I have a few confessions to make:

Firstly, I have not lost weight yet, cause I am snacking a lot at night. I realize I may need to eat more during the day to help curb my night time snacking. After all these workouts are TIRING and are makin me fucking starved.

And YEs days 4-7 ended up getting posted on one day. I had to play catch up, so sue me! It’s hard to exercise and diligently blog everyday as well.  I will try to blog this every day, but if I get behind and need to blog two or three days later in one day, then just fuckin chill out and wait for it till I’m ready.

Either way, I promise you’ll get a 90 day blog- (Even if I have to spread it out over 6 months.)

DAY 7: Energy Drink


Today’s workout was shoulders, abs, and Ab ripper x.

I did that today.  Hoo-Wah.

 

I’d really like to discuss the power drink Tony keeps referring to. I have looked it up online and it says something about me needing to buy yet another fucking item called

After I made my own smoothie, I celebrated with this tasty "energy drink".

whey protein powder from Tony. I’m starting to think Tony just wants to sell me shit.  Good thing I’m not that easy, I went to CVS and bought my own whey protein powder for $39.99, then swung by Bed Bath and Beyond and purchased a blender for $125 and finally stopped by the grocer and picked up bananas, strawberries, blueberries, and a bag of ice for $20- cause it all had to be organic. Tony says organic is good for you.  So long suckaas, I only spent $185 on my power drink today- Tony ain’t gettin rich off me yo.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.